The Boy and the Beast

BEWARE OF SPOILERS!!!

 

Again today, for the series: "Movies that make me want to kill myself", we have

drum roll

The Boy And The Beast!

 

 

You knew that already? Shame you know how to read.

So what is the movie about?
The protagonist is a "fuck the world" kid, he escapes from his family after the death of the mother (such a classic), while the father is god knows where, and he meets a chad-bear that acts all punk-y and asks the kid if wants to come with him.
The answer is the kid isekai-ed in a furry-world where there shall be a trial by combat between the chad-bear and a chad-boar to decide which one will be the grand master of the city (the mayor basically).
Oh please! Don't roll your eyes like that, it's not just another Isekai! At the very least, this time the character is not on the wrong side of a truck.
In the new world the kid is given another name that should be like 9 in Japanese (and he shall be known as 9 from now since), and he gets to know the other kids while they kick his butt because he's a human, or something like that.
All the while he discovers what it means to become the disciple of the chad-bear, they keep on fighting because the bear is unable to teach and 9 is not willing to listen at the same time. Or maybe the chad-bear is always in the wrong, fuck it! I'm a bit confused, you can say, though, that the teacher is being taught by the child almost all the time, probably, possibly, I think, I suppose.
So chad-bear, 9, monkey-friend (that will be known as goku) and the wise pig-bonzo (that will be known as ridiculous) start travelling (not by choice or chance) to discover what does it mean to be strong, all the while 9 trains with chad-bear.
At this point: random images displaying training, bonding, arguing, etc... You get the idea.
Also, all the while, 9 keeps seeing his mother appear randomly and telling him nonsense like: "Now I'm going to cook your favorite plate, omelette with ham", the thing is not at all discussed for the rest of the movie, is just there.

Now 9 is an "adult" and he keeps on arguing with chad-bear on the stupidest things, one day, after another randomic fight, 9 runs away and finds (somehow) his way back to the "real" world. The first thing he decides to do, logically, is to go to a library where he takes a random book (Moby Dick, by the way) and he discovers, to none's surprise that he is able to read at baby speed, that's because, obviously, he stopped reading japanese ideograms when he was 9 so...
There he meets this girl (that should be called broomstick, for obvious reasons) that after shooshing some guys in the library is bullied outside, of course he gets out and kicks the boys on the teeth because they didn't get to train with a bear that weighs almost a ton and can fight with a katana.
She's like "Oh my god, thank you so much, I will tell you how to read because not being able to understand "whale" at our age is frightening! Also I love you in a weird way!"
He's like: "O-Ok".

9 starts travelling back and forth (furry world <-> human world) and keeps on studying with broomstick, that is teaching him everything (I mean, I wouldn't be able to teach every single subject to a student even if I wanted to, but somehow she is excessively good). Anyhow, one day, after 9's become a Hokage in all the subjects, thanks to broomstick, he decides to attempt the final high-school exam to get into university. That's how 9 discovers where the father (that shall be called ghosted) lived all the while he was training with the bear.

9 starts stalking ghosted and they finally meet falling into one another's embrace (no homo).

Meanwhile the bear is upset because 9 is training less and less because of his visits to the human world, he expected him to have embraced his furry-upbringing, but (unsurprisingly) he didn't, and, even more unsurprisingly, he decided to escape and take some time to think.

He acts like a bitch with broomstick that has basically become his ¿girlfriend?
 

weird anime noises

He acts like a bitch with ghosted (who invited him in for dinner).
Late at night, after broomstick slapped him like a baby he finally came to his senses and discovered that he had a big void right where his heart should be. As any human 9 had a big gap that he could not replenish in any way, abandoned and unwanted he looked for a father in chad-bear but all he got was intense training and a difficult lifestyle (surely easier than the one that waited for him in the human-world, but still...).
9 decides, nonetheless, to get back to the furry-world because he discovers that the grand master finally decided when the trial by combat shall be.
 

anime combat noises

After the end of the combat we discover (I mean, the writer discovered because if you have functioning eyes and a barely functioning brain, like mine, you can easily understand this the first time you see the character), that the first child of chad-boar that fought chad-bear is a human (and basically nobody fucking else noticed apart from chad-boar, his mother and maybe his brother; from now on I'll name him cunt).
That's when cunt goes full psycho-mumbo-jumbo slicing chad-bear like sushi.

They cry, we cry, but the boi is not dead, he keeps on living for the sake of it.

So cunt escapes from the furry-world and starts messing with the human-world and 9 decides to kill-him / do-his-thing so that everyone can live happily ever after. Only problem is that he didn't take into consideration the fact that cunt's character got a huge boost in coolness (he's basically turned into a fucking spermwale, as stupid as it sounds, it's neat) and attack power. Infact 9's ass is kicked mercilessly in the end he's almost like "I'm going to suck his ass into mine and I'll kill myself so I'll die" (only god knows where the fuck he gathered the knowledge to understand how to use the void, that supposedly gives you some kind of power).
Everything seems lost until a flaming sword falls from the sky, that's the coolness boost everybody was waiting for 9, the flaming sword is  chad-bear that has turned into a badass void kicking sword, that will lie in 9's heart. That's how 9 is able to slice cunt and save everyone, but cunt is not dead, he's just relieved of the weight he was bearing in his heart.

And that's how the shit show ended:
9's mother is dead
9's furry-father is no more, even though he lies within him (literally)
9's ¿girlfriend? discovered that he grew up between chimeras and her reaction is like: "I don't see the problem". Even though she is in an entirely different fucking world, neatly written man!

9 never goes back to the furry-world and decides to live with ghosted to study in university and become another square in the tetris of our fantastic society.

Nice job!